"I wanna give a shout out to my desk, my bamboo plant, and ummmmm...uhhhhhhhhhhh...I wanna give a shout out to MYSEEEEELLLLLFFFFF..."
"I wanna give a shout out to my desk, my bamboo plant, and ummmmm...uhhhhhhhhhhh...I wanna give a shout out to MYSEEEEELLLLLFFFFF..."
"I wanna give a shout out to my desk, my bamboo plant, and ummmmm...uhhhhhhhhhhh...I wanna give a shout out to MYSEEEEELLLLLFFFFF..."
Ah, the first day of October. I love this month. I honestly have no clue why, but I'll say this: in an aural sense, everything is right for me. Which is why I have no concernes about the fact that I don't have a place to live lined up with 30 days to go until I move out of where I'm at now. I work better under pressure anyway.
The debate had me rollin'. Bush just...yeah. I'm not even gonna get started because I'm not in the mood to deal with anyone having an issue with my opinion. Eat a dick if you don't like the fact that I may not agree with you or think the same. Eat a big, fat, hairy, unwashed, nut-smelling dick.
I was reading someone else's diary today, and it was basically about negativity in a few different forms. One comment referred to looking at things negatively. My response to that: some people only want to see the bright side of things. Some people refuse to accept the negative side of it. Life isn't all roses, motherfuckers. Some of us are a little more intelligent, some of us are a little more open-minded, some of us realize and accept the fact that life isn't always gonna be grand. Shit sucks sometimes. Pretending like it's not there isn't gonna change that, it's only gonna make the issue worse. Ignoring the facts and/or what's presented to you doesn't mean that it's not there. You have to take the bad with the good in order to have clear vision. I, for one, don't profess to have clear sight, because I know for a fact that I don't. I'm trying to change that. But unfortunately, the reality of the situation is that I personally see a lot of negativity because I choose to dig deep into things. Everything, EVERYONE has a dark side. Most people deny that, try to kill it, bury it, put on the blinders or the tunnel vision and pretend like it's not there, like it'll keep it at bay - that's totally understandable. But that's the cowardly way to do it. This world is not a nice place, no matter how you fucking slice it. Choosing to only see your immediate surroundings is what most people do, and those are those happy, blissful yet ignorant motherfuckers out there that don't try to change the greater picture of things because they're too fucking busy improving their own goddamn situation. Going to work during the week, mowing their lawns on the weekend and then bitching about the situation of the world during their free time and criticizing everything but not doing a fucking thing to change it, not even trying. They just feed the system. They don't try to win the game, they just play it as long as they can. They look down upon people like me because we face them with reality, make them question their surroundings, make them think. People don't like to think, and that's the fucking problem. They want their opinions fed to them so they have an easier time convicting everyone else, yet try to escape their own self-convictions, and when you throw that in their faces they get even more upset, using emotions as their ammunition instead of logic. You can't think properly and have your emotions running high, period. It doesn't work that way. Find me someone who can and I'll eat every one of those goddamn words plain and without seasoning, 'kay?
Excuse me. That turned into a rant when it really wasn't supposed to. I guess my overall point is that people see something different when they see people who aren't jovial all the fucking time. They call you "negative" because you don't act like them. You're just being who you are. Seeing the facts doesn't make you negative, that makes you perceptive.
If it's due to your life just sucking and being unhappy with it, that's another thing. "Unhappy" and "negative" are two different things.
Why everyone tries to ignore shit is beyond me, but whatever. That's why humans have grown to be ridiculously lazy, petty, and easily corruptible. Since I've been labeled "King of Negativity" as well as "Mr. Negative" time and time again, I guess I'm just trying to make excuses, huh?
Any-fucking-way.
Kat - I haven't been trying to ignore you, I swear. I've just been busy as fuck at work and haven't really had the time to chat. I apologize sincerely, as we haven't talked in a while and I miss your sense of humor immensely. Besides, I'm not that cool anyway and you know it. And don't you dare shake your head and/or finger at your monitor, missy. I'm watching you. I WILL send the Teletubbies TO YOUR HOUSE to annoy the piss outta you.
Chiky - The above wasn't directed at your or anything, the entry just struck a chord in me, and the resulting sound had to be let out; my head was starting to kill me with all that noise bouncing around in there. You'll be alright hun, I promise.
Serena - I'm such a bunghole. I should have called you, but I've been in a cross between busy as rabbits during mating season (without all the fun, of course) and reclusive and wanting nothing more than to smoke a bunch of cigarettes and watch Dave Chappelle until bedtime. If I find a spare moment during the weekend which is getting busier by the second, I'll throw you a call, I miss your voice.
Vix - Good luck with everything, I have faith that the move will be good for you.
Letti - Ya know, with what you're going through right now, think of how strong you'll become when it's all over. It sucks right now, but you'll be better equipped to handle such situations later on, and then it won't be a thang. You can just brush this shit off your shoulder like "That's it? I've sat on toilet seats that were more of a bother." Just you see.
Acid - You have no idea how much I miss you. I've been writing some things that I think you may like, I'll hafta send you some. Once I can play guitar again (if my hand ever heals - it's starting to hurt bad from all this typing), I'm gonna find a way to record something and send you the song I promised. I'm not the world's greatest singer, but at least my voice isn't offensive. My obsession at the moment loves my voice for some odd reason. Anyway, I miss you bunches and am always wondering how you're doing. We gotta talk sometime, seriously.
Toxie - I just felt like callin' ya Toxie, I'm sorry. It sounds all cute. Awwwwwww. Anyway. I'll call tonight if I can find a spare moment, I gotta do this audition for this video and there's no telling how long it's gonna take, so I promise you we'll at least talk sometime this weekend. Now that I know we're on the same time table, I don't hafta worry about calling too late, which was the case the other night since I was unsure as of that point. Top that run-on sentence, sucka.
Mr-Sparkles - You are SO the man. I've followed some of your advice, it's fuckin' working. Thank you immensely. Once I hit some money, I really wanna come out there and we really need to go have a drink if you've ever got the free time.
Meesh - Shit, woman, what can I say? You rule. All I'm sayin' is if someone gives you shit, tell 'em that the mother of all poisons is coming for them in their sleep. I won't be nice about it, either. Seriously though, "I've got yer back, dawg."
To anyone I forgot, you know I love ya so shut up.
I'm out this bitch. You all have a nice weekend and stuff, I don't really have much to say. Just wanted to say whattup to those of you that I consider myself close to, really. Much more efficient than writing multiple e-mails, and I wouldn't have made it very far considering my hand is begging to be rebroken and reset and put in a cast. Speaking of which, I was supposed to be shutting up a few sentences ago, huh?

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