Work is just getting more and more fucked up. More complications are coming up, evidence suggests people flat out didn't give a shit and took none of my training seriously, so I was basically wasting my time. Is it because I'm younger than them? I don't get it.
I just wanna quit, run away, start life all over. Burn all bridges, sever all contact, and start over again. But that's not very realistic; I'm not that kind of person.
I think what I need is another conert in order to help along with my decision concerning the music. Soulfly is playing tonight. I think I should go just to see if I still feel like I should be up there onstage while I'm watching Max do his thing, see if I get that euphoria from thinking about invoking the reactions from the crowd, feel the vibe that comes from a union of metalheads there for one purpose: to see live music. CD's are cool and all, but the live show is where the fuck it's at...to see them really playing, to hear what it was meant to sound like...
...if I feel like I'm supposed to be doing this, then I will leave that concert knowing what must be done: telling everyone to either get their shit together right this fucking minute or else I'm gone
And if I leave that concert feeling like I'm not suppsed to be doing this, then I'm done, period. I'll get rid of both my guitars and my PA system, all my chord books and everything.
Yeah, I'm going to that fucking conert tonight. Hopefully tix are still available.
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