Fuck...
Fuck...
Fuck...
Broken decanters can't hold their contents very well
Naturally, I'm broken and what leaks is personal hell
It's just as well
I couldn't stop it even when I was fortified
Because that fortification was built from lies

Just like everything around us
----------------------------------------
I'm tired of being told how sad my eyes look. This has been one hell of a year, I'll say that much. It was fine in the beginning, but somewhere in the middle it just got fucked.
I seriouly have lost any and all motivation whatsoever. I don't even wanna think about putting together a band right now. I don't wanna rock out with Eric, that much I've decided. He's too fucking pushy and doesn't give anyone shit for a chance and it fucking pisses me off because people are starting to talk...and I don't want my name to be synonomous with his bullshit. I've worked too damn hard for the scene over the past few years to have it all destroyed by someone who's been here for a year.
I keep thinking about the fact that this band out in AZ still hasn't found a new singer and I know I can take it. I fucking KNOW it. But I can't leave CO yet. There's a couple things I have to take care of, a few cases that need closing and above all else, there's someone here that I have ties with that just cannot be shaken. I've tried. Over and over again. And over again. And again and again and again.
Things don't seem so horrible at the moment, this person has been more understanding of my situations and who I am than they EVER have been, and it scares the shit outta me. It's got me thinking things I told myself I wasn't to be thinking EVER again. But I can't stop this...I've tried VERY hard. It's just pointless.
So I'm either making an eventual enemy or a lifelong tie.

Motherfucker.

Dammit, NOBODY can fuckin' hang, man. NOBODY. I'll prove it shortly...

<<<< Friday, Oct. 14, 2005 || 11:31 AM >>>>
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