I can't remember the last time I've typed something out without ranting or dispelling whatever is afflicting me at the time. So here goes nothing:
I really miss gettin' tanked. I'm serious. I miss callin' over a few buddies and takin' down a couple Blacktooths for Dime. I miss sittin' around bullshittin' and making obscene jokes without worry of offending people.
I may appear to be a very angry, negative person 24/7, but I'm not. I also have my moments where I'm happy as shit and grinning nonstop and saying hello to everyone I pass on the street. What's the point in writing about that crap though? That crap doesn't bother me. I tend to only write when I've got venom boiling over in my mouth. Seems more interesting for me to read over later.
I also tend to enjoy being in my bad moods sometimes. I don't know why. My mindset goes into strategy mode...it's when I do all my planning for life. I don't have the motivation to plan when I'm happy because I'm distracted...I have focus when I'm pissed off about things...when I'm pissed off about things I want to change them. That's just how my mind fucntions, I can't help that. It's been this way since I was a child.
For example: right now I'm a little upset with the whole music thing. As a result, I'm actively seeking out new things to do. I'm not necessarily limiting myself to brutality anymore. I'm willing to "sing" more than just a hook or a verse or during the breakdown. Hell, I'll croon for an entire 5 minutes now. A lot of that probably attributes to all the practice I've given myself lately. I am becoming a master of "The Zen of Screaming." It's fuckin' awesome. I've NEVER been so confident in my vocal ability...EVER. I feel like I can take the entire world on with just my voice.
Now I really have to pee.
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